Reserved Seating

You've been waiting for such a long time! Your feet are hurting, the wind is blowing, and yes, the line is growing longer and longer as you wait. Just when you feel like giving up, you make it to the front of the line... it's your turn....finally! But suddenly the bell boy steps out to inform the crowd....sorry folks we're sold out. Please come back tomorrow night.

You can't believe it! This is not right....you have waited and finally when you thought you were at the place to get where you wanted to be, you're turned away. Why does this ALWAYS happen to me? You lament, you scream...probably in silence... this is NOT fair!

Have you ever been tempted to bud in line? I remember as a kid wanting to make sure I didn't miss whatever I was waiting for. An autograph, the best pancakes (who wants soggy, cold food?), the toy on sale, the best seat at the movies...all prizes waiting to be claimed. A panic can rise if it's something you feel desperate for. As we grow up it could be something more meaningful, like a job, a position in ministry, a spouse, even a child... it is so hard to wait and be patient. What if someone forgets us or we are overlooked somehow?

But if someone has gone ahead of you and promised to save your place...you don't worry about missing out. You have the assurance that your friend has you covered and you can relax in line knowing your place is reserved.

Awhile ago I heard the Lord clearly say to me....Yanna, I'm saving you a seat. No one else will sit in your place because your name reserves it. Others may get in before you but they will not take what I have reserved for you...because it's yours. Don't push ahead...be still and know that I am God. Let the waiting do it's work in you. The waiting is for a purpose. And trust ME. Trust the truth of my Word that says....You did not choose ME, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit....John 15:16...His promises to us are true and while in this life we can be disappointed, we know that what He promises us will come to pass.

The Lord is saving you a seat. What He has for you is yours. Others have their seats reserved for them....don't get messed up in comparing what He has for them with what He has for you. So relax while you're waiting in line and trust that your place is reserved with your name in BOLD letters.

TWYLA

It was the summer before my grade 12 year. My dad had been transferred to a city 4 hours north of Regina, my home for most of my life. I was sick inside at the thought of moving the year before graduating. This meant leaving childhood friends behind and graduating with a group of strangers. I was SO angry. Angry with my parents and angry at God. It was not in any way fair!

No amount of tears or manipulating could change the inevitable. We packed up our things and headed to Prince Albert. My attitude was awful. I did part of the driving and purposely ran over a groundhog. I thought it would make me feel better but it just made me cry more....however, I remember enjoying the pain it caused my sister. Sorry Darby:)

When we arrived I bought a Garfield poster that stated I'M SO HAPPY HERE I COULD JUST BARF. I proudly and rebelliously placed it on my bedroom door. Nothing was going to make me happy and I wanted to make sure everyone knew it!

My mom had begun going to a Bible Study and met a woman with a daughter my age. Of course, as mothers do, she shared my miserable state. This mother promptly went home and informed her daughter to call me. That was my first contact with Twyla. She was introverted, loved more than anything to play the keyboards, and hated our dog:) She told me during that call that she would pick me up for the first day of school and show me around. Later on she confessed to dreading the day she had to follow through with that. I think her first impression of me was...could your hair get ANY bigger? It was the late 80's, what can I say?

We became fast friends...our lockers right beside each other. From cinnamon buns in the cafeteria to fries and macaroni salad at KFC to me singing and her creating masterpieces on the piano and shopping til we dropped we were constantly together.

I think back now and am really amazed. She was so shy and I know reaching out to me was a huge stretch for her. But Twyla decided to move past her feelings. And her sacrifice made a very difficult time in my life so much easier to bear. The poster actually came off my door by Christmas time:)

One of my funniest memories is our summer jobs. I worked at Foodland and as the rookie had to dress up in a Kraft Peanut suit, stand by the highway and wave at the cars as they drove by. Twyla worked right next door at the Information Center for the City. She would stand outside eating her lunch and laugh at me:) A true, supportive friend!

Some people are in our lives for the long haul and other for seasons. We don't always know the reasons why. But regardless, I think it's important to look at and remember the beautiful deposits they make in us. Twyla had a heart for people, even though it was a quiet and gentle heart. She loved missions and set off for Gibraltor the summer after our graduation to make an impact for Christ there.

A few months after I was married I had a phone call. One that I will never forget... dear, sweet Twyla was gone. She had been in a car accident and killed instantly... sometimes life brings us great pain and other times great joy.

For whatever reason, I was thinking of her today. She left a deposit in my life that will always be there. At times, when I hesitate to reach out and don't want to, I remember her kindness to me and how she would quietly give me a kick in the pants and tell me to go for it, especially before I had to get on a stage to speak or sing:)

God has a beautiful way of connecting us with people. It is a gift He gives us. Some of them are with us for a lifetime and others travel with us for portions of our journey. Enjoy and cherish the loved ones walking with you and be watchful if someone in your life needs a Twyla.

Breaking Free from Fear

When I was young I was afraid of snakes and speaking in public. I was so very thankful I didn't live anywhere near poisonous reptiles. Still, going barefoot was a cautious exercise...especially in tall grass....you just never know!

And when it came to school I did what many children do to avoid giving answers out loud...don't make any eye contact with the teacher. I remember saying over and over in my head...please don't say my name, please don't say my name. Funny, many times I had a pretty good answer swirling around in my head but the fear of being wrong and looking stupid was stronger than the wondering if my idea might be brilliant.

I think every person, if they are honest, struggles with being afraid of different things. Even as adults, echoes of childhood fears may be present. I still hate snakes! A spider I'll smash but a snake will put me on a chair.

As we grow we move from fears of the dark or crawling things, to being a disappointment to others, being alone, experiencing rejection and even losing someone we love. I've had a few lessons in these areas and I know it is a lifelong process.

One thing we know without any doubt is that fear is not from God. It's the opposite of faith. The Bible tells us that we have not been given a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind. It also says that without faith it is impossible to please God. So, like so many other things it's a choice we have to make.

I had an interesting dream this week. I was in a mall and all the stores were jail cells. People in each cell were planning escapes watching for the guards that manned the hallways. The guards looked intimidating however they were not armed with weapons. The other eye opening thing was that the cells were not closed. You could easily just walk out...and yet the people stayed. They were trapped by their fears.

When I woke up my heart was pounding....but I clearly heard the Lord say to me...you just have to choose to walk out, take a risk and confront what you are afraid of. I love what Joyce Meyer says about fear. She reminds us we can't wait for the feeling of fear to go...we need to "do it afraid."

This brings me to a few nuggets of truth I've learned so far about breaking out of our fears...each one of us has different ones. But it is possible for us to conquer our fears through our trust in God's power and love.

About the fear of failing and the fear of man...when I focus on trying to live perfectly, trying to make sure everyone is happy with me and that everyone thinks I'm okay, the result are not pretty. I become bound in my mind. I end up strangled by my fears. I cannot live up to this self-imposed standard. BUT when I focus on living with passion I find myself connected to a deep place inside. When I live with passion I can live courageously, setting fear aside.

On learning to trust others...whenever we make ourselves vulnerable and expose our heart, we will almost always make a few mistakes. But we grow in personality and character and relationship by taking risks. AND if you fall down, you are so very normal...just make sure you get right back up.

Never forget that overcoming fear is a process. The best weapon for fighting is the truth of God's Word. Psalm 27 is one of my favorite verses I speak out when the "feeling" of fear seems to be overwhelming. The beginning says..."The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?"

Whatever your battle is, it's not too much for the Lord. Give it to Him and make the choice to trust Him with your fears. He will make the most of your shortcomings and your fears will become scars that are symbols of victory.