Behind a Closed Door

Let me tell you a story.....

Once upon a time there was a house. In this house were many rooms. All rooms were beautiful and tidy with the exception of one....

The bathroom was fully functional when we moved in. I was delighted to have two toilets with our family of 6. Although the paper adorning the walls was much too loud for my taste I was able to overlook it.....for a time.

One day I took it upon myself to remove the gaudy stuff. Stripping it, ripping it, piece by piece revealled the ugly truth of the room. The drywall was crumbling around the base of the walls, holes of various sizes decorated this lovely place. I realized this was a bit more than I had bargained for. This room required more than a coat of paint. I quit removing the wallpaper and decided I would finish this project another day.

Soon, because of neglect, the room was not only ugly, it was dirty. The toilet quit working and we didn't have the knowledge to fix it or the money to pay a plumber. But boys being boys, my four sons, continued to use the toilet which of course made for a foul smell no one should have to describe.

It wasn't long before the bathroom became a storage area where we shoved all the things we had no place for. The call would come whenever company was expected, "Did anyone close the bathroom door?" Because the first room you saw upon entering our house was....you guessed it the bathroom.

We would show guests around the rest of our clean and orderly house and hear their comments on what a lovely home we had. If anyone asked about the room with the closed door I would just say "storage room." I couldn't bear for anyone to open that door and see the mess I had made and have them realize I had no clue how to fix it. It was too much for me, so I did what was the easiest....I ignored the room and kept the door closed.

The Lord reminded me that this is so much like my life. In many ways, I seem to have things in order, every little thing in place. But then there's this little room in my heart that He knocks on ever so gently and says, "what's in there Yanna?"
OH...just a mess I've made Lord but I'll clean it up eventually. I don't want you to come in, not now anyway. So, He says....okay, I'll wait...til you're ready. He says, "remember, you just have to open the door and I will deal with the mess...but YOU have to be the one to turn the knob and let ME in.

The Bible tells us that Jesus will come in when we invite Him to deal with the messes we've made in our lives. Revelation 3:20 says "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him and he with Me."

Whatever may be behind the door you're keeping closed, it's not too much for Him. SO , open the door and trust Him for the clean up.

Hide or Seek

Can you remember playing Hide and Seek when you were little? My favorite place to hide was either under my bed or in the corner of my closet. I loved the anticipation of being found and man was it hard to stay quiet for so long!

Unfortunately, as I grew up I continued to play the game of hide and seek. But no longer was my hiding place under the bed or the closet's corner.....it was inside myself. Due to different circumstances in my life I began to believe that I didn't have anything to say that was of value. The enemy took this lie and re-enforced it so that every time I was faced with rejection of any kind I would close up. At least that made me feel safe. The problem with this is that if you hide who you really are for a long enough period of time, you lose yourself and end up conforming to those around you. God has not called us to be photocopies of each other. We are designed to be authentic originals. He is calling His daughters to "come out, come out wherever you are!"

Remember Jesus words to us in Matthew 5:14.."You are the light of the world, a city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden." and Matthew 10:26-27, "Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops."

You might say to me....but I'm afraid. Know what? I understand. I think we all struggle with fear at different times. It has been a major stronghold in my life that I have battled. But one thing I have learned is that the more I am confident and secure in the truth of Jesus' love for me, the less I fear. The Bible says in I John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."

How do we experience this love? We spend time with Him, we cry, we talk, we share dreams, we are vulnerable. We learn about His character. Once we get rooted in His love for us, passion for Him will naturally flow out of our mouth (you do have something of value to say!),our actions and our attitudes. Boldness that is born out of our love for Jesus and His love for us breaks the grip of fear.

So, do you know what you are doing now? You are making a choice to Seek and not Hide. What does is mean to seek the Lord? The word Seek means to go in search of something, to pursue or follow. I think one way we do this is to acknowledge Him in our daily life. Did you ever notice how you can go through a whole day and not think about the Lord very much? He wants to be part of everything we do. When we acknowledge Him in the little things we will truly begin to see Him more and in turn Seek Him more. Remember when you were the one doing the seeking in the game? At times I wanted to give up because the hider had been able to become seemingly invisible in their perfectly concealed place. But seeking the Lord is not hard....He wants you to find Him!

In Psalm 27:8 it says, "When You said, Seek my face, My heart said to You, Your face, Lord, I will seek." What is your answer to His question? I know it feels safe and secure inside your walls...but I also know from experience it's very lonely in there. Take a risk and hear Him call to you, "Come out, come out, wherever you are, let Me be your Hiding place."

Ever After

For everyone who longs to be loved exactly as you are....He is the One you've been looking for all your life. He is our happily ever after......

EVER AFTER

Once upon a time in a world so very real,
There's a dream to believe in, a beauty to reveal.
It's a longing deep inside the heart of every girl,
To be precious in her daddy's eyes... princess of his world.

You are my ever after, the heart of who I am.
Tell me that You love me,
I'm reaching for Your hand.

I'm locked within a prison, the walls inside my heart.
Held captive by the lies, built on from the start.
I've opened up my heart before..the depth of what's inside,
Unseen, unheard and not enough....just run away and hide.

You are my ever after, the heart of who I am.
I hear You say You love me,
You're holding out Your hand.

You show me that the slipper fits, it's made for only me.
My Prince has paid the highest price, to show me that I'm free.
Free to let Him lift the veil I've kept to hide my face,
Free to let Him have my need and fill the hidden place.

You are my ever after, the heart of who I am.
And now I know You love me,
And ever hold my hand.

Leave a Legacy

Last night our church had the privilege of honoring our Youth Pastor of 23 years. Pastor Bruce has poured his life into the youth of our church and his legacy last night was apparent for all to see. He will probably not know until he is in Heaven one day the impact he made on so many generations of young people.

It made me think in a fresh way what a responsibility we have with each day we're given. I don't know if I have tomorrow. One of the scriptures that always causes me to be still and remind myself and know that He is God is in Isaiah 40:6-8. "All flesh is grass. And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, Because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, But the Word of our God stands forever."

This is the moment I have to make a difference. This is the moment I have to surrender myself to the Lord and obey what He is speaking to me. It can sound complicated or grandiose to leave a legacy....do I need to be a published author, an evangelist like Billy Graham, a shining example like Mother Teresa, an incredible youth pastor like our dear Pastor Bruce? I believe we just need to take what God has placed in our hand and use it for His glory. Listen to what He asks of you today and do it....really it's that simple.

So, my heart is so very thankful today to the people who have invested something into my life. The ones who have believed in me when I felt I couldn't believe in myself... the ones who have prayed for me when I was unaware...the ones who have pointed me toward the Lord when my eyes have been on myself...thank you.

And I must look around me to those I can do the same for. Who is in my path who needs me to believe in them? Let's leave a legacy for Him together.......

His Masterpeice

This poem was inspired several years ago as I longed to see a dear friend comprehend her worth and value to the Lord. Never forget, He is thinking about you all the time.

HIS MASTERPIECE

You are HIs Masterpiece
A work of art that He designed
A poem written long ago
Yet unfolding, line by line...

Delicately crafted and
Formed with much delight
With a smile and a tear of love
He whispered, "She's just right."

It's true that He's engraved you
In the palm of His own hand
Your name He knows and loves it well
Your thoughts He understands.

The apple of His eye you're called,
The door, the central part.
Do you know that means the gate
And the opening to His heart?

His thoughts of you cannot be counted
They are vast and without measure
A flower planted for each one,
A garden walk, forever.

Your song, your dance, the way you see
Your tears and your laughter
The desires held within your heart
Bear the mark of your Creator.

His love for you is perfect
Embrace it and believe
You are a seal set upon His heart
A daughter He'll never leave

Lillies

During my devotion time one morning I read Matthew 6: 28-29.....it says,"SO why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lillies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."

IN reading this I decided to investigate how lillies grow....maybe there was a hidden truth in these words from Jesus? The insight I discovered has come back to me over and over....

1) True lillies have special characteristics that differentiate them from other "lily" plants.
2) The bulb is usually the most distinguishing characteristic. It does not have a protective outer coating
3) A true lily is never dormant. (inactive)
4) Lilies are prolific (i had to look that one up). It means they are highly productive, producing much fruit and many offspring.
5) Lily bulbs must carefully be protected from drying out.
6) No other condition is mroe important to the well- being of the lilies than DRAINAGE.
7) Lilies benefit from deep soil preparation.

I thought on these for a long time and the Lord revealled to me many truths about myself and each of us as believers.

Really we can't grow ourselves. A plant grows without any effort of its own. A child grows without trying to stretch his body before the time is right. When I work in my own effort to gain spiritual growth I accomplish nothing. When I worry about tomorrow, when I dwell on the past, I miss the moment I have right now. He wants to cultivate me in His own way.

The protective covering I may have around my heart, however thin it might be, keeps the rain and dew from falling on it. This makes me think of the Word and how I so desperately need it to penetrate the hard places of my heart. Any barrier I have in my soul can cause me to fade and wilt like a plant hidden away in a dark place.

We have to learn to abide in Him. Abide in the Vine. Then we will not be so concerned with ourselves....we will be looking to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith. He is the Gardener, we are in the garden. He is the Potter, we are the Clay. Trust HIM.

Favorite Quotes

"Then the time came when the risk it took to remain in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom" - Anais Nin

"The strength we have in warfare is godliness, which comes through intimacy with God."
- Beth Moore

"No love of the natural heart is safe unless the human heart has been satisfied by God first."
-Oswald Chambers

" CARE more than some think is wise. RISK more than some think is safe. DREAM more than some think is practical. EXPECT more than some think is possible." - The missionary heart

"I stood at the door of the New Year and said, 'Give me a light that I might see my way safely into the unknown.' But a voice came to me and said, 'Instead, step into the darkness and take the hand of God - for it will be to you better than light and safer than a known way.' "
- Women Alive

" SO let all Your enemies perish , O Lord! But let those who love Him be like the sun when it rises in its might." Deborah - Judges 5:31

"One day you will be a Queen and you must open your eyes." - William Wallace to the princess in Braveheart

"A hundred years from now....it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove....but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child." - Kathy Davis

"Cornelia, the mother of the Gracchi, once entertained a woman from Campania at her house. Since the woman made a great show of her jewels, which were among the most beautiful of the time, Cornelia detained her conversation until her children came home from school. Then, pointing to her children, she said, 'These are my jewels.'" -Valerius Maximus

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echos are truly endless." -Mother Teresa

Journal Entry from 1991

In the middle of questions, I trust in You.
Despite my humaness, I will persevere because I know You are real.
When I fall I will get up. I know You're holding me close.
Even though the future isn't defined I will walk it. I know You've planned
it beautifully.
In my anger I will choose to die to myself. That's what will please You.
In my weaknesses I will not run away. I will turn to You, the strong one.
In my tears, I will cry out to YOU. I know you care more than anyone could.
In my love, I will exalt You.
In everything I will glorify You alone.